The Internet has changed a lot of things. It’s changed the way we communicate (I now try and communicate solely through GIFs).

not joking gif







It’s changed the way we consume entertainment. It’s changed everything and has especially changed the way we date.

Some of the best dating sites have made us extremely lazy with the opposite sex. Tinder being the prime example. Swipe right. Swipe left. Get in or out of my bed, basically. Our great grandparents must be turning in their graves and yet, we know, if they were alive right now they would be swiping left and right too.

Sites and apps like Tinder mean that relationships are becoming of forth or fifth tier of importance in our lives. Not only are we now valuing someone purely on looks but we are also always on the look out for something new in case this current relationship falls through the cracks (which it will, because you are not putting enough attention on it). This means the current landscape of relationships is going through a rocky patch.

The world in general gives so many distractions to relationships. Online dating, with its huge gamut of possibilities from to Tinder, to Adult Dating Sites to Eharmony gives us some home that the next love is out there when this one gets destroyed.

Online dating has distracted us from what is important in relationships and that is connection to our own selves.

We have to be happy first before another can be happy in our presence.

We have to love ourselves before another can love us.

We have to communicate well before we can expect another to communicate well with us.

There is so much self work to do to make a relationship work.

In the modern world there is a lot of time spent on selfies (which is all well and good – selfies are a great form of self love) but little time spent on other aspects of the self.

How can we change this? 

We can’t change online dating. We only can change ourselves.

The only way to change ourselves is to become more self aware.

Of course, online dating can be great. It can be life changing.

We can travel the world and meet new people instantly. We can forge a great foundation of a relationship before we even meet and decide to jump into bed together. It gives us the opportunity to go fast or go slow. It has just about how we CHOOSE to use online dating and dating in general.

If we are looking for a life partner then we can find them through online dating (just don’t use Tinder).

If we are looking for a quick night in the sack then we can use the Tinder type sites and apps.

Online dating gives us more choice and opportunities, we just have to be even more conscious about how we are using them and why we want to have a relationship in the first place.

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Raw Attraction is the leading magazine for men and women about love and sexuality. Founded in 2012, we aim to bring you life changing articles, podcasts, and videos about love and sex.

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  • Law Dawg

    I have to admit that I do not envy singles these days. It all seems to superficial and sterile. We spend more time plugged in to our devices and less time plugged in to the people right next to us. It is incredibly sad.

  • awesome – we agree yes. Online dating can be a good way to initially connect but there is so much work to do after that…