Men – this is written especially for you so you can be the best lover she ever had. (Women – feel free to read it, comment, and of course share it with your boyfriend/male friends…)

Adam & Eve 300x250

Imagine for a moment… 

You’re on your way over to meet this woman you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks…

When you ring the bell, she calls “come inside, it’s open…” “Sounds good”, you think, and enter her apartment.

You walk into the kitchen where she’s standing with her back to you, making a salad by the kitchen counter.

She looks great from behind but you want to be nice and say hello.

So you walk over there and turn her around to give her a kiss…

As she turns to face you she already has a sly smile…

And with a half open mouth she escapes your kiss, sinks down on her knees, unzips your pants – looks up at you for a moment with eyes filled with both hunger and devotion… and then slides you in between her soft, wet lips and begins blowing you.

You lean back against the counter, close your eyes and think “Oh my God, this is HEAVEN”…

Can you see it?

Can you feel it?

Not a bad way to be welcomed, right?

Most men don’t mind when a woman goes straight for the main course. Of course, men can also enjoy really taking it slow, but very few would say ‘no’ to this kind of surprise!

In fact, most men probably DREAM of having a woman who is so open and ready in a second or less. Wouldn’t you?

⁉️ Do you know your EROTIC BLUEPRINT TYPE? Click here to take the quiz ⁉️

So what if we reverse the scenario?

She comes home from work and as soon as she walks into the kitchen you get down and begin licking her passionately.

Should be quite a turn on for her as well, right?

Hell. No.

This is a place where the Golden Rule doesn’t apply.

To be the best lover you should not do to her what you would love her to do to you.

couple in bed

It’s the complete opposite.

While men can get turned on by having their genitals touched and stimulated, the exact opposite is true for women.

The key to deeply arousing a woman (in a way that she doesn’t have to fake anything) is to touch everything except for her genitals.

So what does that mean?

It means that you go on a journey across the landscape of her body – and purposefully don’t arrive. Explore her neck, collarbones, breasts, belly, the inside of her arm, inside of her thighs, butt, lips, hair – every woman is different so pay attention to the way she responds…

Play with super light and very firm touch – the more you go to both extremes, the more powerful it is.

Sometimes even stay still and just hold her so she can feel that you’re really there with her. And don’t forget her breasts and nipples.

(*Side note: most guys use a way too firm touch here. Less is more. Light, sensitive “almost-not-touching”-touch is the most powerful. And simply holding our breasts without squeezing them is a beautiful way to open both our heart and our pussy.)

Then continue touching her…

You can even slide your fingers across where her inner things meet her outer vaginal lips, or even the opening to her yoni – just briefly enough to give her a super quick teaser – and then continue down her legs or up her belly.






More facts about women:

Women LOVE being felt and seen, so it’s important that you stay completely present in every touch, in every moment.

Very important: If you’re doing it only because you think “I hope this will work, and soon I’ll get to the good part” (sliding into her) – then she’ll feel that and she won’t open.

Enjoy her, be amazed, experience the texture of her soft skin, feel her breath/breathe with her and see her beauty.

Be The Best Lover Lover She Ever Had

Only when she’s deeply warmed up, open, wet, ready and practically begging for you to slide inside her or give her oral pleasure – that’s the moment to give it to her – and not a second earlier.

Believe me, so few men know how to play this right, and if you can stay present with every touch, listen into her response, sense the way she opens, dare to slow it down and speed up – as a skilful surfer adjusts his speed just enough to catch the perfect wave – AND truly enjoy it (!), then you’re holding the key to giving your woman more pleasure than she’s ever had in her life. This is how you become the best lover she ever had. 

Want some more help? Consider an online sex class.

by Ronja Sebastian

⁉️ Do you know your EROTIC BLUEPRINT TYPE? Click here to take the quiz ⁉️

If you like this article, please share it! You are also welcome to leave a comment at the bottom of the page ☺️

Click here to see our reviews & recommendations of the best online sex courses 

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Raw Attraction is the leading magazine for men and women about love and sexuality. Founded in 2012, we aim to bring you life changing articles, podcasts, and videos about love and sex.

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  • RMills

    Excellent article, and I can tell you from personal experience that your tips truly work! My wife will tell you that I am the best lover she has ever had, and she will tell you that it is because I know every inch of her beautiful body, and I have spent our entire life together making sure that every square inch of her feels beautiful and desired. I have taken my time to get to know all of her, not just her genitals. This article maps it out for you…use the suggestions to rock her world! Believe me, she will more than reward you for your effort!!

    • you sound like a great lover! your wife is lucky!

    • Starr

      You really do sound like you have taken the time to really get to know your wife and her whole body. I’ve been on this site long enough to realize that the skills you have when it comes to lovemaking don’t appear by chance, but that you have to cultivate them through reading posts like this and taking some of these great online classes.